The irrelevant notion of "Friends" on the internet

This is maybe because of Facebook, but lately i start to be tired by the expression "Friend" that has lost all his profound meaning.

On the internet everything goes faster including the "process" to become someone's friend

Social Networks have created a fake environment where the illusion of friendship has grown. Everyone is friend with everyone and therefore no one is friends with no one.

This is not only a specificity i observe only online. I see around me a lot of people talking about people they hardly know or met once or twice as friend. Maybe because it is cool to say that you are friend with someone that has some visibility or recognition. Or maybe because it creates a better context for discussion and facilitates the conversation. Or maybe just out of laziness.

In any case i am sad that we are losing in our daily lives the meaning of the important notion of friends. We all have friends. True friends. People we know for a while, People we trust, People we shared a rich experience with, People that matter to our regular life digital or not.

In the internet i have a lot of buddies, colleagues, partners, contacts. But not a lot of friends (actually very little). A friend is something rare and for me the ultimate test of friendship comes with a hard time to go through. Over Time you realize what matters and what's not.

This is obvious for my generation to realize that because we did not have Social Networks when we were young. But for new generations i think the confusion and learning process will be harder and longer.

More than ever (self) education matters.

Comments

[Alain]

I am glad you've finally arrived to this conclusion...my friend.

[ledretch]

Yesterday evening, I met a seesmic user and some other Facebook, myspace junkies in a real restaurant, in the real city of Paris. I guess, they were just followers before the "friend" process is beginning...
I mean, fortunately, there will be always a good reason for having a dinner in the real life :)

[Niv Calderon]

i also wrote something about that: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=16834065253&ref=nf

[mikiane]

It's exactly for this reason that i have developped my own polyblog. a king of personal blog-portal on wich my buddies, friends, partners... havec their accounts and then différent permissions.

Of course it was a big challenge to drive people on it. So i added a facebook SSO function (in a short futur, linked in, gmail, ....)

the polyplog is my blog. Check http://www.mikiane.com

[Tsahi Levy]

FB or other Social communications redefined the word friend. We can see the Tiers establishing for degrees of proximity and convenience
- Real life friends
- Cell phone
- Instant messaging
- Social Network
- Virtual worlds / MMORPG
Each has its unique characteristics but overall it classifies our degrees of closeness. My 2 cents

[Pascal]

it's so true...congrat for this great post

[PH Langlois]

I agree with you as "social networks friends" could not be "real friends". But I'm not sure it's harder for young generation to see the difference.
Even in real life you can have various degrees of friendship: friends at work you see everyday but not often out of work, old friends from kindergarden you see once a year, good friends you party every week end with, etc.
And on the other part, what other word could replace "friend" on Facebook? When it started, I guess most of people added their real "school" friend (which are not fondamentaly friends you can trust but just co-workers at school).

So finally, I guess it's just a new sense for that word :)

[PH Langlois]

Mikiane> I like your site, but it's not the same concept as Facebook and don't fit the same needs.
Facebook is ego-centric (for each user to its own community) while your "polyblog" is leader-centric (one leader to its community).
But linked with FB, it's great :) Good job.
Any idea of scalability (or is it opposed to its concept itself?)?

[mikiane]

@PHLanglois: you are right, polyblog is what you call leader-centric. It will stay like that, even if the platform i am using (Drupal) can manage ego-centric websites.

I would like to extend the concept and host some friends pages. This will allow my own (real) friends to publish their own blog, RSS feeds, facebook news feed, etc... But my polyblog will never challenge Facebook itself. It's only an another connected way to securize my own community. Facebook does not allow that today. Maybe tomorrow....

M

[Mathieu Ramage]

Hi Ouriel-

I just wrote something similar 3 days ago. I'm so sick and tired of this meaningless psychoweb-friendship.

Follow the link, looking forward to your reactions: http://www.atelier-us.com/web-uses/facebook%20friend-313-32.html

Best,
M

[Briner Raphaël]

1. Family
2. Friends
3. Contacts
4. Followers

1. Close friend
2. Old friend
3. New friend
4. Close to be a friend
5. Spam friend

[Lora Lufark]

I would say "The irrelevant use of the term "Social Networks" (http://lzzr.com/social-net works/online-communities-notes-on-terminology/) on the internet" and as a result of it misunderstanding of the nature of virtual relationships. It is nowadays something of the obvious that your online friend isn't at all the same as your real one. And this distinction seems rather fundamental.

[Suesan Danesh]

I am coming in late to this discussion and i came to it from a search on the issue of Israel's road network and cities not being mapped on google. Which was the subject of one of your posts. Regardless, i find the notion of virtual friendship and or community a challenging one. I think community is a key aspect of human existence.We are social beings. The virtual aspect however is a product of technology. The youth of today can somehow "feel" a sense of belonging virtually, and do not get me wrong that is great, really great. We all need to feel like we belong. But there is a physical result to belonging to a community that is not replicated virtually. That connection, that physical interaction between humans is truly what community is about. I do not mean deep friendships and loving relationships cause we can only have a few of those but that walking down the street, smiling to the person that crosses your path or buying your milk at the corner store and saying have a nice day kind to the clerk kind of connection, community. I do not know what it is called but it is deeply human, it is needed and it can never be replaced by something virtual. These communities should co-exist and should develop in concert with one another. Certainly not one at the expense of another - and if i may be so bold, on the contrary they should actively support one another.